• Vedashree Khambete Sharma

This will hurt just a little bit…

Updated: May 30

Dentists should come with labels. Somewhere in that mass of letters that follow their names, should be stated clearly what kind of a person they are.

Example: Dr. A. Kumar (MD, DeN) Periodontologist, Apprentice Clown, OR, Dr. P. Nadkarni (MBBS, TiS) Orthodontist, Psycho Bitch


That way, you know that the person who’s about to do evil things inside your oral cavity, has a personality. So you’re prepared. At least, I would have been, before going for two root canals today.


I’d have seen it coming when my dentist decided to poke my gums with needles, without giving me a local anaesthetic. Because, and I quote, ” Unless you feel the pain, how will you know when it’s gone?”. Er, by being seized by a sudden impulse to sing hymns to the good Lord above, Einstein.

But I guess it all adds up. Of all the thousands of label-less labcoats out there, I had to be stuck with Metaphysical Sadist.


Anyway, after a painful hour or so, I was astride my Scooty, riding from Dadar to Churchgate. Surrounded by what could only have been a bunch of F1-crazed maniacs on varying levels of LSD. And why in God’s name, do men get tongue-tied when women ask them for directions? I asked a guy today, and not only did he give me the very opposite of the directions I had asked for, but peppered his incoherent speech with words like “highway” – a geographical impossibility in the middle of Lower Parel.


Incidentally, I can now say with some authority, that riding a Scooty at 50 kmph on the gentle bumps of Marine Drive, is almost exactly the same as riding a Pogo-stick powered by nuclear fuel. In other words, not a pretty sight.


I think I can safely say that it hasn’t been a good morning.


But on the plus side, the weather decided “Oh what the hell, it’s about time I loosened up a bit and partied with that hot thunderstorm”. So Bombay was pelted with rain, thunder and lightning the whole of today. In the middle of March.


It must be fun working in the Weather Bureau.

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