The Most Fantabulously Awesome Blogpost You Will Ever Read!

As someone whose livelihood depends on how well I can make muck look like Mardi Gras, I have a question for humanity at large: when exactly did we become a race of exaggerators?

Spend ten minutes listening to any damned conversation these days (I’m not suggesting evesdrop, just… be conveniently around when people are speaking). Everything it seems, is ‘mad awesome’ or ‘insanely brilliant’. And we’re not talking about particle accelerators here or the Aurora Borealis.

No, we’re talking about Youtube videos where one toddler bites another. Or a cat trips over its own paws. Or somebody talks about homosexuals eating poo.

Seriously, world? You think that’s frickin’ amazing?

Justin Bieber’s music is like so amazingly fantastic. OMG, Robert Pattinson is so totally the hottest guy on the planet. That watermelon martini was like the best I’ve ever had in my whole life. Wasn’t Saturday night so frickin’ brilliant?

No. No, it wasn’t, kiddo, no it was not.

Einstein was brilliant. You’ll change your opinion about martinis in the next fifteen minutes, forget the rest of your life. The hottest man on the planet could in all likelihood, be living a quiet, lonely life as a monk in Spain. And nobody will remember Justin Bieber’s music after the next pre-pubescent singing sensation arrives on the scene.

Get a little perspective, would you? And leave the hyperbole to us ad-people.

Now that, would be… nice.