The Agony and the Agony

Pain comes in many forms.

There’s the pain of heartache that Alanis Morrisette just can’t stop singing about.

There’s the pain of heartbreak that can be cured only with liberal doses of chocolate and retail therapy.

There’s the pain of death that large, powerful men use to threaten small, powerless men with.

There’s the pain in the teeth that you spend obscene amounts of cash to get rid of.

There’s the pain in the ass who doesn’t get the fact that he’s NOT funny, NOT charming and NOT required to exist.

And then, there’s the pain in the thighs that happens when your dumbass gym instructor gives you a lower-body workout designed by Sadists R Us, specifically to incapacitate you for a good week and make you hate staircases for the rest of your life. Bastard.