Brother and I are in the car, going for a Diwali lunch with Dad and Commander Uncle.
Me: (all innocent) The weather’s so dry suddenly. Dude, you want some lip balm? Brother: (taking some from the little Bodyshop container I’m holding in front of him) Ok.
Brother: Tastes like orange. Me: It’s Satsuma Shimmer. Brother: Then why does it taste like orange? Me: I don’t know. It’s called Satsuma Shimmer. Brother: Wait. What the… what is all this glittery shit? Me: It’s not glitter. Brother: My finger is all shiny! Me: It’s shimmer. Satsuma Shimmer. Brother: I DON’T CARE! Aaaaa! It’s on my face? It’s on my face! Me: Bahahahahahahahahahaha. I can’t believe you fell for this! Brother: (furiously rubbing his mouth) AAAAAA! Is it off? Me: Nope. Bahahahahahahahha. Brother: Ok, it’s off now, right? RIGHT? Me: You look like a Maybelline ad. Maybe he’s born with it… Brother: Or maybe his sister is a BITCH!
Happy Diwali, all.