Resume-Writing for Dummies

Me: What’s this?

Brother: My CV.

Me: It’s two pages long, what are you Donald Trump?

Brother: It’s a rough CV.

Me: Let’s make it ‘fair’, shall we? (after studying it for about 4 seconds) Ok, I think I’ve got it. Take notes:

a) You do NOT need to give THREE email addresses. Especially if one of them has a reference to an obscure Greek god whose name you think has something to do with your name (it doesn’t).

b) You DO need to give a mobile number.

c) You do NOT need to write Secondary School Certificate, EVERYBODY knows what SSC is.

d) The same rule applies for HSC too.

e) You do NOT need to write St. Teresa’s High School, *Girgaon*, Mumbai. The only other St. Teresa’s in Bombay is a girl’s school and despite your circumstantial weirdness NOBODY is going to mistake you for a girl.

f) And for the love of God, DO NOT put SOCIAL FRIGGIN’ NETWORKING as an interest!*

*He later told me that going for student meets and being part of cultural activities also qualifies as “social networking”. I laughed in his face for five full minutes and told him it doesn’t.