Attention, All Men!

But you know what’s not cool? When you don’t even bother to disguise that you’re checking out a girl, assets and all. There was a guy in my old office who used to be like that. Whenever I spoke to him, I had to fight the urge to go, “Yo creep! I’m about a foot northwards!” And now, there’s some random shithead in this office, who takes his time taking in the sights.

No, really. What the hell kind of man does that? I don’t even want to get into the whole objectifying women thing, but seriously, huh? If you’re imagining a woman without her clothes on (and you are too), for chrissake don’t let her know that. Chances are, she already knows. She does not need you to reinforce the fact by going all lazy-eyed on her.

So, please. If you’re doing it, stop. If you know others who are, take them aside, give them a few lessons in discretion and send them on their way. You’ll be making a huge contribution towards world peace.